Confidence, Week 2
Support It
This week is about what happens when your child tries the hard thing, and it does not come off. If home feels safe after a miss, they keep going for it. If it feels like a debrief, they quietly stop reaching.
This week the coach will put a challenge to the whole team: back each other out loud when someone goes for their thing, whether it comes off or not. The players are learning to pick each other up. Your job is the home version of the same thing, and the place it matters most is the car on the way home.
The practice: Bank It
This week, the team gets its second proper practice of the month, called Bank It. It is built on the one idea behind the whole month: confidence is proof. Bank It is how your child builds their proof and keeps it, and your job is to make it easy to use at home. You are not there to teach it or run it; the coach does that.
It is one simple move. Every time they go for their hard thing, they mark it on their card, a quick tick, and note what they did. Each mark is proof they did it, and the card becomes a record they can look back on. We have sent you the Bank It card. Print it off, and leave it somewhere they will see it. All you need to do is nudge them to keep it up; a quick "did you get a mark today?" is plenty.
Keep it light, a reminder rather than a chore; if they use it, back them. If they forget, no drama; leave the card where they will see it.
How To Support your Child
-
One thing worth doing before anything else this week, and it takes a second: when they have gone for something hard, tell them you saw it. "I saw you go again after that one" does more than any amount of holding back. Everything else here is the quieter half of the job, but this is the part they actually feel.
-
On the sideline: back them for going for their thing, and keep the coaching to yourself. A brave go that does not come off still gets your nod.
On the drive home: keep it light. No going over what went wrong. What they need to feel is that you are glad they played, and that how you see them has not moved with the result. Back the person, whatever the football did.
What to say, and what to hold back
Say: "I love watching you play." Or one genuine, specific thing you saw them go for. Or just "Did you have fun?"
Hold back: the match review, the "why did you..." questions, and any coaching from the passenger seat.
Resources
Prof Camilla Knight: "Why You Matter in Your Child's Sport"
A short NSPCC video from one of the UK's leading experts on sport parenting. Drawing on 20 years of research, she explains why parents matter so much and shares simple ways to support your child. It's a great starting point for any parent.
Psychology Today — Should Parents Stop Praising Their Children?
Balanced take on specific vs general praise, with the nuance that vague praise isn't always harmful. Good grounding for Week 3's "catch it and name it."
The Be Braver Podcast — Build Your Own Confidence Jar
Josephine Perry builds a literal jar of proof (strengths, past setbacks overcome, successes) with a guest to dip into when doubt hits. Adult/endurance framed, but the mechanic is almost exactly your Bank It practice.