Confidence, Week 1
Make It Theirs
This week, your child is choosing one thing to work on, and your job is to help them find it and own it, then back them just for having a go.
The Practice: Make It Mine
The coach will put a challenge to every player: pick one thing you shy away from when the pressure is on, and go for it. The shot they do not take, the player they will not run at, the ball they hide from when it matters. Your child has come home with a bit of homework, to land on their one thing and their one phrase before the next session. The link below will guide them through this exercise.
How To Support your Child This Week
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This is the week your child finds their one thing, so at home your job is to help them land on it and own it. Ask them about it, lightly and curiously. If they are stuck, there is this quick interactive tool (you might have also gotten over WhatsApp). You can hand them the phone and let them work through it. Give them some space, and only offer to help if they ask. It makes finding where to point their confidence a bit of fun, and a lot easier than sitting them down for a big conversation.
Let them pick it themselves, even if you can see a different one you would choose for them. A thing they chose is a thing they will actually work at.
Once they have landed on their thing, the tool helps them pick their word: one short phrase they say to themselves right before they go for it, like "pick your spot." This is the first of their confidence tools, and it does more than it looks, because the words a child says to themselves genuinely change how they play. It is theirs to choose. All you have to do is find out what they landed on, so you can gently remind them of it later in the month.
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One thing to know about: at full time, the coach now names a Brave of the Match, one or two players who went for something hard, whether or not it came off. It runs every week from here. If your child comes home having been named, it is for the bravery rather than the goals, and it is worth making a fuss of.
On the sideline: back them for going for their thing, and keep the instructions to yourself. Be the one who is glad they had a go.
On the drive home: keep it light, and back them for going for it, whatever the result. If they want to talk, listen. If not, leave it.
What to say, and what to hold back
Say: "What's the one thing you're going to go for this month?" And when they tell you, "love that, go for it."
Hold back: picking the thing for them, and turning it into a list of everything they could get better at.
Resources
Dr Paul McCarthy – "How to Build Athlete Confidence: A Step-by-Step Guide for Peak Performance"
A three-stage guide covering physical preparation, mental skills and competition-day routines. Most useful for its checklist of signs a player has lost confidence (hiding from the ball, playing safe, seeking reassurance) and its simple post-match reflection routine, even though it's written for older athletes rather than youth.
Kate McCauley: "What You Say After the Game Matters"
A mindset coach on protecting your child's confidence on the ride home. She covers when to stay quiet, when to offer advice, and why praising effort beats praising the scoreline. A quick, practical listen for parents.
Working with Parents in Sport — "A conversation with Barry Collie"
British Gymnastics' National Head Coach on developing confidence, self-esteem and self-worth in young athletes, and building the environments that let that happen. His approach is grounded in confidence, routine and reflection, close in spirit to your Week 1–4 arc even though the sport differs.