Confidence, Week 3
Challenge It
This is a tougher week, and it is meant to be. The training steps up, so more things will not come off. Your job is to hold steady, keep backing the brave go, and help them lean on their word when it gets hard.
The idea is to push your child just past comfortable, to the level where they are working hard and getting it most of the time, but not every time. That is where kids actually get better, and it means more misses than usual. So expect a bit of frustration this week. A child who has a real go at something hard and does not manage it has done exactly the right thing. The brave miss is the point.
The Practice: Replay It
Before a match, a practice, or bed, they picture one of the wins they have banked and run it through their head for about 10 seconds. This is visualisation, and in one study of children this age, it was the thing most closely tied to how confident they felt. Reliving something they have already pulled off helps them believe they can do it again, which matters most just before a match, when the nerves are up. It is also what the week of banking was for, since now they have something to draw on. And they keep leaning on their word, the phrase they chose in week one, when they push into the hard moments.
How To Support your Child
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Know that the sessions are getting harder on purpose, so your child may come home a bit frustrated. Back them for stretching themselves, whatever the result. Their word matters more than ever this week, so remind them to lean on it when something feels hard. And on the way to a match, you can prompt their new tool with a simple question: "Which win are you replaying today?" Resist the urge to step in and make it easier. The struggle is where the belief gets built.
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On the sideline: this is the week it is hardest to hold your line, and it matters most. Do not rescue, do not coach from the touchline. Keep being the voice that backs them up for going for it, just like in the weeks before. When they go for something hard, and it does not come off, that is the win, so back them for it.
On the drive home: keep it light, and back the brave go whatever the result. A tougher week needs a softer landing at home.
What to say, and what to hold back
Say: "You went for it, that's the bit that counts."
Hold back: rushing in to rescue or fix it, and any instructions from the touchline. Let them wrestle with it.
Resources
Nature Communications — "The Eighty Five Percent Rule for Optimal Learning"
The original Wilson et al. (2019) paper behind the 85% rule: learning is fastest when the challenge produces roughly 85% success and 15% failure. This is the primary source already underneath your Week 3 challenge-calibration coaching.
University of Arizona News — "Learning is Optimised When We Fail 15% of the Time"
Plain-language press release covering the same 85% rule paper, from the lead author's own institution. Easier to link for a parent or coach than the Nature paper itself.